Strength

I look into her eyes, I look into her heart, I look into her life and what do I see?  Strength.  

I know many of her truths, the significant suffering she has experienced across the span of her life.  She has known violence at the hands of others and suffered deep loss.  Her heart has been bruised by unkind words and she has experienced betrayal by those closest to her.  All of these things could add up to a weak, bitter, angry woman and truly, who would blame her if they did? 

And yet, she is strong—incredibly strong—so much more so than she can possibly see in herself.  Here is what I see:

©She is sweet, loving and has a beautiful smile and warm embrace despite the violence
©She focuses on her blessings despite the loss
©She speaks words of healing affirmation despite the unkind words said to her
©She is fiercely loyal to those she loves despite betrayal

I know why all of these wonderful things—and so many more—can be said about her. And while I also know in her humility she would be a bit uncomfortable readily agreeing with what I see in her, I know she would undoubtedly agree with this truth:  She knows and draws strength from the giver of peace and the defender of unrighteousness...Jesus Christ.  

Throughout the bible, God reveals to us how to live abundant, peaceful, hopeful lives despite the hurtful things that come from the hands of men.  This was modeled for us many times through the life of Christ.  A scripture that describes this so well comes from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10: 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  

I do not believe this verse implies that we should invite hardships into our lives or even pretend to be glad when they come.  Rather, I believe it means that if we know the grace of Christ, He can help us bear the hardships when they come.  And well beyond that, that through experiencing His increased presence in our lives, we can then demonstrate His strength through—and even despite—our difficult circumstances. 

I know of nothing else and no one else who can deliver on this scriptural promise.  And deliver He does...time and time again.  And when He does, like He has for her, like He has for me, like He has for so many others, we can step up into His light and embrace the meaning of delighting in weakness.  And that is strength.  Undeniable, incredible strength. 

Unbelief

I have been a born-again Christian for over 16 years.  I remember how uneasy that term, born again, used to make me.  It sounded so "bible thumpy" and reminded me of those over-the-top preachers who stand on street corners or on T.V. shouting at people.  Hmm.  Beyond that, I had met many people who referred to themselves as such—most were also regular church attenders—yet their lives never revealed anything different than anyone else and this really didn't sit right with me.  If that is what a being born again Christian was...well, thanks...but no thanks!

Now that I understand more intimately what being born again means, I see the bad rap the term gets.  Regretably, experiences like mine are all too common and turn some people away from the unmistakable richness that comes to the lives of those who can truly describe themselves as born again.

The phrase is actually quite beautiful and came straight from Jesus himself in John 3:3a(NIV):  Jesus declared, "Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again."  Jesus further went on to explain in John 3:5-6 (NIV): “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit." 

Quite simply, being born again is making a decision of our own to truly accept and believe that Christ died on the cross to atone for your sins and make you righteous before God.  And with the acceptance of His selfless act on your behalf, we are granted the assurance of Heaven when you die.  That on it's own is significant enough, I mean, it is Heaven versus Hell we're talking about here! 

But beyond that, upon accepting Christ as Lord, we are also indwelled with the Holy Spirit, God himself in spirit form, who helps our hearts change beyond what we can imagine and offers us the guidance we all need to navigate this challenging life on earth.  Sadly I went for many years not knowing this personally.  Sadder still is how many still don't know it themselves, including so many I love.  This grieves me deeply.

What I know now that I did not know then is that until we accept Christ, and are indwelled by the Holy Spirit, it's not just that we choose not to understand the things of faith, it's that we can't.  In 1 Corinthians 2:14, scripture tell us that "The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit."

Belief in someone we cannot tangibly see is hard for us.  We are "facts and figures" show-me kind of people and this Jesus we hear about can sound so surreal.  This is where the Holy Spirit really helps, as He transforms hearts from the inside out and equips us to understand matters of the spirit and accomplish things through the power of God that we could never do on our own.  I know this has been the case for me, many, many times.

I consider my faith to be pretty deep; pretty solid.  I spiritually hear God's voice and sense the active presence and power of the Holy Spirit in my life.  I sense and see Him moving in the lives of other believers as well.  One might think that this makes belief easier for me.  In some ways, it definitely does.  And yet, I'm still human and with that, comes the frailties and struggles common to all.  If anyone tells you that being a Christian means a trouble free life, I suspect they would also fall into the group of people I mentioned in the beginning of my story.  Troubles still come.  Being a Christian and faith in Christ, however, truly does bring a peace that surpasses all understanding (Phillippians 4:7). 

This brings me to recent reminder lesson from God about my own unbelief.  I have already experienced many things I would describe as miraculous in life and yet there is another one that has recently been unfolding.  This is not something of my own hand for I did not seek it.  Rather, it is something I believe—based on many factors—has been guided into my life by God.  It involves another person who feels the same way I do and to whom God has revealed confirmations to her yet not to me—and confirmations to met yet not to her—which only make complete sense when they are fit together.  There are just too many of these to write off to mere coincidence.  This has come seemingly out-of-the-blue (not to God, of course) and has been so surprising and exciting—to be called further into ministry is so humbling.   

We both feel certain that what God has in mind for this new friendship is a significant calling to help each other grow and a role together in ministry.  Yet despite that certainty, we've still allowed ourselves to fret over details—even to the point of planning how to surmount them—until God revealed they were also being managed by Him.  He's probably thinking, uh, I've got this one too girls!  Oops, we did it again...sorry Lord!  

Thankfully, scriptures also assure us that this, too, is not altogether uncommon and even happened in the presence of Jesus himself.  In Mark 9:24-27(NIV), a man was asking Jesus to heal his child.  Jesus told him that "everything is possible for one who believes" to which the man replied "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”  Did Jesus rebuke him for this?  No he did not.  And I believe it is because Jesus knows that belief is a multi-layered process.  Belief in him as Savior is not, but belief is so many other facets of faith takes time, perseverance and ongoing learning. 

And this is where His grace truly shines to which I say, what a relief!

Jesus, I thank you that while we are called to believe in you as the way, the truth and the life, and that no one comes to the Father except through you, John 14:6, that you also understand our human frailty.  And beyond this, Lord, that you extend grace to us and our unbelief over and over.  I thank you for this reminder lesson and pray that I will be strengthened ever more so to trust that you God, in your infinite wisdom and power, have all details of my life under His control and will work out all things for my good.  Thank you for second chances, no matter how many I need.  I love you.  Amen 

Prayer of Salvation

Skimming

The secrets of who we "really" are—the things we feel are "too shameful" for others to know—can really hold our hearts down.  And a heart held down often also results in our emotions being stifled.  Often times, we become so skilled at this method of coping with what we view as our ___ness that we don't even realize how much is held down; how hindered we are.

I was talking with a beloved friend recently.  From my view—and the perspective of those around this dear heart—what would be seen is a beautiful, sweet, kind, lovely woman...someone you would be drawn closer to and one you would long to know more.  I feel this way every time I am with her...in fact, I often long to return to her presence immediately after leaving it.  Sadly, the wounds she has suffered in life have blinded her abililty to see herself as others do.

Though I did not know her at the time her wounds came, today I have the privilege of her trust and revelation of much that holds her heart down.  These things that have hurt her deeply resulted in feelings of shame, causing her to believe they needed to remain hidden, convincing her that she's unworthy of the light.  This is common...all too common...especially for women.  And this is never what God intended. 

In fact, God spoke about this early in the Bible in the story of Joseph in Genesis 37.  Joseph's brothers resented him so much that they plotted to kill him; ultimately selling him into slavery and convincing their father that he was dead.  While his brothers certainly caused great harm to Joseph, he ultimately went on to become one of the most powerful men in Egypt.  Not only does Joseph forgive his brothers but demonstrates the profound truth that while others may hurt us, causing us to believe ugly things about ourselves that are not true, it does not have to remain that way.  When Joseph forgives his brothers, he tells them that "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."  Genesis 50:20 NIV.

Before Joseph knew he would be rescued and brought to greatness, it's certain that many ugly thoughts must have settled in his heart; perhaps he felt betrayed, unloved, abandoned, worthless and maybe even forgotten by God.  And yet our amazing God is capable of using any circumstances that come to us, especially those coming from the hands of others, and turn them into remarkable works of transformation, redemption and victory.

So back to my dear heart friend.  She did not do anything to cause the circumstances that came into her life and wounded her deeply—she was innocent.  And yet even with this truth, the enemy of our souls loves to take these opportunities to kick us when we are down, vulnerable, fragile and suffering all to cause us to forget our true selves; the self that God intended. 

In her life, this came through silent suffering with no one closely alongside her to speak the loving truths of who she really is—a joyful fun-loving spirit who was created to freely feel and express emotions—and to encourage and comfort her while her tears fell instead of stuffing them down.

She and I talked about the inability to cry recently.  This is something I have also struggled with after many heartbreaks...crying can seem so pointless.  And when one has not allowed tears for a long time, there comes a fear that if we allow ourselves to start, we'll be like Niagra Falls and never stop.  This, too, is a lie the enemy tries to convince us of.  Why?  I believe it is because tears allowed to fall provide a cleansing release that is beneficial to the soul.

I shared with her an analogy of our repressed emotions being like a large pot.  One that is full of many long ago added "ingredients" and allowed to sit for a really long time.  Left untouched, things in a pot such as this will settle to the bottom, become motionless.  If at some point we decide it is time to stir that pot, those things long left dormant will begin to surface. 

While this can be hard, painful even, it's ultimately beneficial for us to begin to see what is really in there.  When we do, we gain the opportunity to begin removing things that no longer benefit the recipe of our souls.  My friend referred to this process of slowly and gently stirring the pot to remove the bad ingredients as "skimming" from the top.  She is so right—I could not have said it any better.  Welcome back to the light my friend—it's where you truly belong.